The Last of Us: Batman Edition
by SevvyGirl
Summary: All of the human race has vanished off the face of the Earth, save one BatFamily a Joker Two random girls. One girl goes with the BatFamily. The other goes with Joker. This is the story of the girl that goes with the Joker and endures his antics and cruelty while trying to make him a better person and survive in the empty world.
1. Chapter 1: Trouble in the City

**Hello, reader! I'm happy to present to you this really weird dream that I had and elaborated on! First of all, I don't own Batman, Joker, or any of the BatFamily except for ItBat's character, who is one of my close friends and really owns herself, I guess. There aren't any zombies in this, by the way. I intended the title for it literally being they are the last ones. I might write another story later with zombies, let me know in the review if you want that.**

**That aside, I feel the need to elaborate on my two OCs. The first one, whose name you don't learn until the end, commonly known as Jokey, Queenie, etc., was me in the dream. Joker just picks her up because she's one of the only people he can find. The second one, ItBat, was a huge Batman fan before the population of the Earth disappeared, and now that she's part of the BatFamily, she's pretty excited. Batman found her. She's very protective of all the kids, especially baby Timmy.**

**The BatFamily kids' ages have been scrambled somehow, and there really is no explanation for this. It just puts a new twist on the Family's life.**

**Thanks for reading, and please leave me a review! –SevvyGirl**

* * *

**The Last of Us (Batman Edition)**

**Chapter 1: Trouble in the City**

I stand with Joker in an unfinished building that he's turned into his HQ. Down below are Batman, baby Timmy, 8 year old Damian and 9 year old Babs, 12 year old Jason, 10 year old Dick, ItBat, and Batman himself, just walking around and playing.

"What are you doing?" I ask as Joker fiddles with a remote control. "That's not a detonator, is it?"

"No. It's a remote control, can't you tell?"

"Um, aren't you a little old to be playing with toy cars?"

"Look over there, what do you see?" Joker asks, snapping the back panel in place.

"The BatFamily and a ruined post-apocalyptic city. Jason is alone over there under that tree…hey, what's Damian doing on that backhoe?"

"Perfect timing!" Joker laughs and fiddles with the controls as Bats and the others go to stop Damian from getting hurt.

The backhoe suddenly roars to life.

"What are you doing?!" I shriek at Joker. "Don't hurt them! We're the last people on Earth!"

"I'm not going to hurt them…fatally," he cackles and swings the claw of the machine around, but Batman epically dodges and jumps onto the tractor. It continues to swing in circles, its treads leaving deep marks in the soft ground of the construction site which we're in the top of.

I watch the scene play out, and it is kind of comical, until finally Batman rips the wiring out of the machine and it turns lifeless.

"Aww, party's over," Joker sighs, tossing the remote to the floor and pouting.

"You know, if you would quit trying to torture them, maybe they'd be nicer to us both."

"You guys are on good enough terms. I wouldn't want to lose you completely to their side."

"All I'm saying is, the rest of the world has vanished. We're the only people left. We might as well get along."

"Are you flirting with me?" he giggles.

Irritated, I turn and say, "Forget it. I'm going down to see them."

"Make sure you suck-up to the Bat and get in his good graces, Two-Face."

"Two-Face? Really? That's immature. We're Jokers."

"I'm sorry, Jokey. I'll come with you."

I roll my eyes at the unoriginal nickname and leave without waiting for him to catch up.

"Are you guys OK?" I ask Bats and ItBat.

"Did the Joker do that?" Bats growls, literally. ItBat has her arms crossed and is staring around angrily.

I nod. "Yeah, he's an idiot."

"Obviously," ItBat snaps as the Joker comes near. "I'm going to rip his throat out!"

"ItBat. Control yourself," Batman tells her. "I'm going to rip his throat out," he snarls and marches up to the skipping Joker and grabs his throat. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"

"Relax, Bats, I had the whole thing under control. Nobody got hurt," Joker shrugs and Batman throws him ten feet into a pile of sand.

I abandon Joker for the BatFamily for a while, even though they're pretty cautious around me because of my association with the Joker. The do let me in on their plan though. Batman and ItBat have been ciphering gas out of cars lately, and managed to get a large black van to run. They're planning to leave Gotham.

"We don't want Joker to come, but you, SheJoker, we'll let you come if you want. You've never done us any harm."

I look down. "I want to…but I can't just leave Mr. J here. With Harley gone, he'll die within the week."

"I think you're underestimating him; he likes to come off as weak, but he's not. I assure you, if you leave him, he'll be fine with blowing up the city until the explosives are all gone."

"He took me in when this," I say, gesturing around me, "happened. I can't leave him when he needs me the most."

Batman shrugs and Joker bounds into the firelight and grabs me in a hug. "My loyal Jokey! I knew you wouldn't abandon me!"

"Oh no, HE'S here," Jason says and walks off grumpily.

"Please let me come with you," Joker asks politely, still suffocating me.

"NO," Jason, Batman, and ItBat say at the same time.

"Joker, let me go, can't breathe," I wheeze, but he ignores me. "Joker…joker…JACK," I finally grunt and he lets me go. "Don't call me that!"

"Don't strangle me."

"Jack?" Batman questions.

"Uh…like Laughing Jack, the Creepypasta," I lie. Joker would not be pleased if Batman found out his identity through me.

ItBat narrows her eyes at me and I look away.

"Bedtime!" Batman announces and Joker disappears into the darkness. I stay with the Batfamily.


	2. Chapter 2: Road Trip

**Chapter 2: Road Trip**

In the morning everyone packs up their stuff. When they're all done, Joker comes running over to me and says, "Guess it's just you and me, Dollface."

I glare at him furiously. He knows I hate being called Dollface. I don't know if I can stand living the rest of my life with only him. I start to contemplate going with the BatFamily and leaving him.

"Please let Mr. J come. I'll keep him out of trouble. I won't let him bring explosives or anything!" I beg ItBat, "Just please talk to Batman and ask if Joker can come. I'd feel horrible just leaving him here in Gotham to rot."

"He deserves to rot," ItBat states and I nod.

"Yes, but he can do that later," I suggest. "Maybe with so few people we'll have a better chance of changing him."

ItBat sighs and goes and speaks to Batman in hushed bat-whispers. They glance at me a couple times.

Joker is looking around aimlessly being good and quiet.

Batman struts over and says, "I'm going to miss you Joker. About as much as I miss the existence of cancer."

I sigh, "Please, Batman, please let Joker come. We'll sit back with the luggage and I'll try to keep him quiet."

Batman sighs, "Fine, get in, but if there's any funny stuff…" and goes to the driver's side.

Joker claps and jumps in through the back doors of the van, on top of the large amount of luggage that takes up the entire back seat and a half. I jump in after him and tell him to cut it out before Bats changes his mind. "I can't believe he'd think that I'd pull something silly," Joker grins and I stare at him like he's an idiot and close the van doors just as Bats puts the van in gear.

* * *

5 hours later

Jason is staring out the window, trying to ignore the noise of the van. Timmy is strapped into his car seat smacking him with his rattle. Babs and Damian are arguing over something, and Dick has his PSP hooked up to a car charger and his immersed in some kind of plane game.

Joker and I, on the other hand, are being jounced around on top of the luggage. We attempted to stack it away from us, but it then proceeded to bury us multiple times, so we resorted to sitting on top of it. Therefore, everytime Batman 'accidentally' hits a pothole, we hit the ceiling. Joker is having a great time, opening the back door while we're driving and sticking his head out.

"Try it, try it!" he says, looking exhilarated.

Batman tells him to shut the door for the thousandth time so the van will quit dinging at him. I'm suspicious of Joker's motives. What if he has a kill withdrawal and kicks me out of the back of the van onto the highway, or slams the door on my neck?

I end up not choosing because he grabs me by the collar and shoves my head out the back of the van. The amount of wind coming off the top of the van is crazy, but it feels good. I push my way back inside and close the door.

The only mature ones in the van at this point are Jason, Batman, and ItBat.

We stopped for bathroom breaks, but nothing else until reaching an amusement park. It's of course empty. It's kind of depressing that there's no electricity.

Batman tells me to get Joker away from him before he strangles the clown, and I drag Joker to a giant, dry, water slide. We climb to the top and look down. I see all the others down below, looking kind of small. Joker is looking absolutely bored. "I wish I had some dynamite."

I sigh. "You should be happy. Chaos is the unexpected, right? Well, this all is pretty unexpected if you ask me."

"Eh, everyone disappeared, so my cause has been put at a standstill, not to mention that the brats have all been turned into little kids of random ages."

I shrug. "At least we're still OK."

"Look out there, what do you see?"

"The world."

"We appear to be all that's left. Why, I don't know. But we are. That means that we rule the world."

"A lot of good it's going to do us."

"Exactly."

"It's pretty horrible knowing that I'll be stuck with our little group the rest of my life unless I decide to be totally alone, which also sounds horrible. And just think, we'll all die off one by one until there's no one. Then what will happen?"

"How do you know that the BatFamily won't repopulate the world?"

I look down, doubtful. "They're just that: family. Basically brothers and sister. And there is just Babs after all. No way is ItBat getting with Batman."

Joker shrugs. "You never know what can happen in a world ruled by the Joker."

I sigh. "If anyone rules, it's Batman. He's the boss around here, not trying to burst your bubble or anything, but there's not really anything left to rule. I doubt the bees and the antelope are going to listen to you….oh my gosh, what about Gotham Zoo? All those animals are trapped!" I say, mortified.

"RELAX," Joker soothes, "I already set them all free. Can't say the rest of the animals in the world trapped in zoos will make it, but Gotham's are alright for now. Almost got eaten by a tiger, and I'll admit a couple of the monkeys didn't make it past the gates, but…" he trails off.

"Wow, that was really nice of you," I say appreciatively.

"The horror! I'm turning into a hero!" Joker wails.

"I don't understand it," I say to myself.

"What?"

"I don't understand why ItBat and I are here when we were just average people before…still are, really, but then Harley and all the other villians and heroes are just…gone."

"I was talking to Harley when she disappeared," Joker says quietly. "We were discussing blowing up Wayne Enterprises. I had a blue print out and she was drawing little hearts and diamonds at the edges, listening to me explain to the henchmen where to place the explosives and then..._poof_...they were all gone and I was alone. At first I thought it was a joke and laughed, but then there was no punchline and...well, I started looking for people. And I found no one until I came across you doing the same thing I was. What were you doing?"

"I was downtown, getting groceries and I stepped out onto the cement and realized that no one was there walking at all Cars were spiraling out of control and hitting buildings and stoplights and I just stared. I looked around and there was just...nobody," I tell him and look up to see he looks pretty somber.

"You miss her, don't you?" I ask.

"Who? Harley? Ha, no...of course not...of course not," he shakes his head, but I know he does, he just won't admit it. His tone says it all. He sighs and silently attempts to slide down the hot, dry slide. He resorts to running and I do the same, laughing behind him. He doesn't laugh, just eloquently decends rather calmly. Calmer than I've seen him so far. He sees me laughing and searches my eyes for a moment and then asks Bats when we're leaving, completely calm. He looks at me, bewildered, as the Joker turns towards the van and hops in. I shrug and whisper to him as I pass, "Maybe he's finally lost his mind," and laugh.

He makes a growl sound and I quicken my pace as the kids start getting in the van too. ItBat buckles the car seats and hops in the front again with Batman.

Joker sits dejectedly at the back, leaning against the window, seemingly deep in thought.

* * *

Hours Later, Again

When we finally stop for the night, it's at a park. We would go in the buildings, but the kids insisted on a camping trip, so after scavenging for a few extra supplies, we all spread blankets on the ground and look up at the night sky from under a large oak tree, the stars sparkling through when the limbs move gently in the cool breeze, a nice relief from the hot day. We're way out...somewhere, in a smaller town. Something, a hospital maybe, was in construction just across the street from the park. Batman wasn't very specific about where we were going. I decided not to question him.


	3. Chapter 3: Traveling Fire

**Chapter 3: Traveling Fire**

The next morning I woke up and Joker was gone. I instantly looked for the tallest place around, which turned out to be the hospital in construction. Joker would find the scaffolding the riskiest place around, and God knows he's all about danger. I don't hesitate to find my way up to the very top. I scale a rickety ladder up to the top where Joker's shoes are hanging down, looking rather scuffed.

"Hey, Mr. J...what are you doing up here so early?" I yawn.

"Oh, nothing," Joker says innocently enough. I narrow my eyes at him as I sit down beside him, hoping he's not thinking about pushing me off of here either. "What did you do?" I ask him suspiciously and look to where he's staring, mesmerized.

The tree we slept under. The tree where Timmy's just now waking up under and crawling around on, trying to stand and walk.

Joker, "Hmm,"s and that's when I see it. A rope hanging from the first limb of the mighty oak tree.

"He's going to get in that!" I say, my eyes going wide and I nearly fall on my way down the ladder.

Joker follows me down a moment later and says, "He got into it."

I give a panicked gasp and sprint down haphazardly, actually jumping from the second story to the sand below in my panic to get to Timmy. Why would the Joker set that trap there at all? What's his problem? Does he WANT Batman to kick him out? I rush to the tree and look up. Timmy is hanging haphazardly on the first limb, not looking all that worried about having just been jerked up into a tree. He leans forward and I say, "No, Timmy, don't move!"

This manages to wake up the rest of the Batfamily, who proceed to rush around dramatically and growl for the Joker and glare at me like this is my fault. I guess it kind of is though, since I begged Bats to let Joker come along. ItBat goes all motherly and tells Timmy everything will be fine and just don't move, which upsets him as he hears the fear in her voice. Batman has since seized Joker by the throat and I think he might break his one rule. Joker is explaining, "The trap was meant for you, harmless really. I didn't mean for the kid to waltz into it, I swear!"

Timmy leans forwards and starts to fall, and it's like slow motion for me. I lunge forward as he slips free of the rope around his arm and somehow manage to clear 10 feet in less than a second to catch little Timmy. ItBat had lunged forward but wasn't fast enough. Batman hits Joker in the face and as the BatFamily looks at me with contempt even though I just saved Timmy, I thrust him into ItBat's arms and back away from their stares, awaiting the Bat's judgement.

"Everyone in the van!" he barks at the BatFamily, "Except you, Joker."

He looks down, disappointed, "Bats, I swear, I meant to catch you...to prove that I was still a trickster, if just a harmless one for now," but Batman is looking at me.

"You may come if you want, but not him."

I shake my head no, "He needs me."

Joker laughs, "HAHAHAHA, need you? I don't NEED anybody!"

I look down at my shoes, stung by his comment. "I can't go with you guys. They all hate me," I say and as if things couldn't get worse, my eyes start stinging with tears.

Batman stares at me, unsure whether to comfort me or walk away. He walks away, saying, "Goodbye then...maybe we'll meet again someday," and gets in the driver side. ItBat asks Batman something and her jaw drops and she looks at me as they drive away. She's shocked by my decision obviously. Can't say I blame her; I'm just as shocked.

"Where to, Dollface?" he asks and I sigh, pointing down another highway, away from Batman and the Family. We start walking.

"I can't believe you chose me over the Bat!" Joker says for the umpteenth time, two hours later.

"Me neither," I mutter for the first time. "I don't know why I thought you'd thank me for it," I admit.

"Thank you? Ha! You've mistaken me for someone else, sugar. Speaking of sugar, I'm getting hungry, babe."

"Might as well scavenge for supplies; it's pretty hot out here in the sun. You just couldn't NOT set that trap for the Bat, could you?" I ask, irritated as I kick at a door, then try the handle. It's unlocked. I rummage through some cabinets while the Joker goes off to do something, maybe take a leak, I don't know.

When he comes back he's holding a sardine can full of nuts and berries. "We're survivors now, Jokey; we've got to eat like them."

I stare at him, not amused, with my eyebrows raised. "You do that; I'll eat some decent food."

He looks at the nuts and tries to bite into an acorn. He stares at the contents for a moment, then tosses the whole thing over his shoulder and shrugs. "We can survive in style I guess."

I toss him a can of chili and open myself a can of ravioli. I hand him the can opener and he cuts open his can while I look for forks. When I find the silverware drawer, I hand him a spoon and grab one for myself.

We sit quietly in the deserted house on some nonexistent family's couch. I watch Joker thoughtfully.

"See somethin' ya like?" he smirks, chili on his mouth.

I grin. "Oh yeah, you know it. I just see some guy with green hair and a crazy smile that I for some reason gave up going with people that might actually care about me some day."

"Who cares whether they care about you?"

"Apparently nobody but me," I say, "since the rest of the world, you know, is _poof_."

"Well then why worry about it? There's only so many people who can possibly care about you, and they don't now, so why force them to?"

I start to argue, then abruptly drop it, sighing. "Do you know why I chose to come with you? I had this crazy thought that we were somehow alike and that we could just happily roam the world together and..." I trail off.

"You thought I would _care?_ Wow, you really don't know me at all," Joker chuckles, leaning in close with chili breath, "but I have a feeling that will all change rather quickly."

The way he says it creeps me out, but I try not to worry about it. How bad can getting to know the Joker be? There's no one to watch him kill, so long as he doesn't decide to kill me.

"I have a feeling that you don't know me either."

He crowds my space and I'm tempted to pull a pack of gum out and offer him a piece. The chili breath is not pleasant, but I doubt my ravioli is much better. "What are we going to do to change that?"

"Absolutely nothing," I spit and pull away but he grabs my arm.

"Why not?"

"You're being really creepy you know. I get that's like, your expertise, but get over yourself. We're not really stuck together; I can leave if I want."

"You think so?" he asks, and something's hidden in his voice that worries me.

"I know so. There's more than one way out," I say sternly and jerk away, grabbing a soda from the warm fridge and popping the tab. It's Root Beer, my favorite, even if it is warm and a little flat after sitting so long in the heat.

He starts laughing maniacally and I almost choke on the soda. "I'm just kidding with you, why so serious?" he laughs and I toss him a soda.

"Whatever," I say, smirking. "Just don't step over the line."

"I draw my own lines...which just happen to be invisible."

"I can tell," I yawn and say, "You wanna just crash in this house? I mean, we're already here, and my feet are killing me...and..." I look back to Joker since I had been staring out the window, but he's already flopped on the couch, sipping his Root Beer.

"No arguments from me, Dollface," he says and kicks off his shoes. "You can have the bed...unless you want to share."

"Um...thanks...but I'm not sharing," I say seriously and head for the one bedroom in the apartment. I hope the door locks; Joker's acting downright creepy this evening. Or at least creepier than usual. He's just trying to get to me; to break me somehow. Well I won't let him.

* * *

In the morning, I wake up to hear laughing coming from the living area. I get up and smell smoke. _Oh my God, what is he doing in there?!_ I wonder and yank the door open. Well somehow he's managed to set the carpet on fire and there happens to be a trail of gasoline from the coffee table to me; I can smell it. It coats the door, and the fire's racing towards me, so I slam the door and run for the window. _How dare he try to kill me in my sleep!_ I think indignantly. _Like what the heck? I give up the BatFamily for him and this is my thanks?_

I throw open the window and pound out the screen. Smoke is wafting under the door. Hardly a close call; not nearly close enough to entertain him, I'm sure. I know what I have to do now. I have to act like I can't get out until the last second to entertain him. If I don't entertain him, he might get bored with me and make me a punching bag like he did Harley. I can't let that happen, so I stay close to the floor under the window sill for a long time. Flames are catching the carpet on this side now. Too close for comfort. Still waiting. I start pretending to pound out the screen again, then when the flames are a few inches from me and singe my pants and make sweat roll down my face, I finish kicking the screen and fling myself out into a rather prickly hedge.

Scratched up and singed, I miserably drag myself out to the sidewalk to where Joker's standing, laughing at me. I look up at him, more distressed at his antics than angry with him. "Why did you do that?" I ask.

"Why not?" he shrugs.

"B-because...well you just tried to kill me-"

He cuts me off sharply, grabbing me by my shirt collar, "If I wanted you dead, you'd be dead."

He releases me and starts walking down the highway. "You coming or what?"

I really have no choice but to diligently follow; I don't want to be alone.


	4. Chapter 4: Cheshire Cats Hate Water

**I take credit for this scar story, so don't steal it please. I don't own Joker, or the Cheshire Cat. -SevvyGirl**

**Chapter 4: Cheshire Cats Don't Like Water**

We stop around noon under a bridge on the interstate. Cars are smashed and piled up everywhere; not a victim nor survivor among them. I stare solemnly at the stream; haven't smiled all day. Today is just a bad day; any day that starts out with the Joker lighting a house that you're in on fire with the intention of possibly watching you burn to death is probably not going to be a good day. He's been telling jokes and pinching me or pulling my hair in a teasing manner all morning, but I'm not smiling for that moron.

A rock hits me in the head and I yelp a sharp ouch before hurling a bigger rock back at the clown, hitting him square in the chest. He throws another rock that appears pretty sharp. It hits me in the ribs and I can feel myself bleeding. "Quit, you cut me, moron," I snap as he slides down the bank towards me. I slip a foot out as he starts to pass to get to the water and he trips, falling head first into the water.

_Oh crap, he's going to kill me for that._

He comes up, covered in some kind of green slime and spitting out water. He glares at me, his paint running. One of the only thing he's been carrying is his makeup case, and once it's out he's going to be mad.

I can't help but smirk a little bit but it quickly stops as his mouth turns up in a snarl/smile. He stands up and marches toward me. I scoot up the bank and turn to try to run away from him, panicking, but he manages to grab the waist line of my pants and hauls me backwards. He continues to haul me backwards, gaining a little momentum, and then flinging me out into the water, jumping in after me. Despite being green, it's actually pretty cool and feels good on my sunburnt skin. The only problem is that the Joker's trying to shove my head under.

"Please don't drown me!" I scream frantically and take a gulp of air before going under. I slip and my knee scrapes the rocks on the shallow bottom. Joker's laughing and it sounds so distorted from under water that I start panicking even worse. He's choking me now as well as I try to scratch his hands to get him to let go. I finally reach up out of the water and manage to catch some of his hair. I yank hard, forcing his head under the water and we turn tables. Instead of trying to drown him though, because I know he'll regain control since he's so much bigger, I head for the bank like a soaked rat. I get almost back to where I was before the Joker catches my ankle and drags me back.

I struggle madly to get away, determined to run as far and as fast as I can away from this homocidal maniac as soon as I'm free. I won't even look back. I gasp and cough.

"What's wrong, beautiful? Is it the scars? Wanna know how I got 'um?" he asks, holding me still at last, pinned against the bank. He nods to himself and says, "My sister was a paranoid schizophrenic, and one day she goes off on one of her imaginary trips while we're at the fair. I think maybe a...clown set her off or something, but she pulls out a kitchen knife from home that she shouldn't have had...our parents were at work that day and we weren't supposed to be at the fair alone. She grabs me and pulls me close, like this, behind a tent, and asks, 'Are you with them?' and gestures towards a sad clown. I shake my head no but she shakes me, 'Are you with them?!' and I was only 7, so I got scared and said yes. 'I knew you were with them!' she screamed and put the blade in my mouth. 'Why aren't you smiling? Why so serious? Not much of a clown now, are you? Why so serious?' she asked as I cried out from her sawing the knife through my mouth, 'Why so serious? Let's put a smile on that face!'" he threatens, pulling the knife back and slitting my left cheek open. I jerk and manage to hit him in the nose and shove him off me. He regains quickly and drags me back in the water, beating me in the stomach and face. My face contorts and my left cheek tears open nearly to my ear. I scream as blood pours out and it swirls in the water around me. He seems pretty upset about not getting to finish the job and calls, "You'll need help with the stitches, Harlequin!"

_Harlequin? Harley Quinn is the Harlequin to Joker, not me! Has he lost it for good?!_

I need stitches, but I need to run. I get to the bridge before I look back, blood running down my face. He's not chasing me, instead standing there, wiping off his knife. He looks calmly up at me and smiles. He knows I have no choice, but I can't let him 'finish the job'. Tears mix with the cut and it burns like crazy. Ha, burns like crazy. He IS crazy. Burns like Joker.

I start laughing right on the bridge because my mouth burns like Joker. But laughing jars the sliced tissues and probably muscles. How will I even talk? Meanwhile I'm standing on a bridge in the middle of nowhere with no sewing needle or thread, or anything remotely sterile to sanitize the wound with. Not to mention the large amount of blood going down my neck and soaking through my shirt. Joker starts slowly up the bank, stopping where we dropped our bags. He digs into his and pulls out a small medical kit. He continues up until he's about 5 feet from me and I take a step back. He frowns. "Undecisive still? Fine by me, you've only got so much blood to lose, and I'm more than entertained by every drop you do. I haven't seen the light go out of someone's eyes in a long time."

"W-why did you do this to me?" I cry, and cry harder because of the pain from the salty tears.

He takes a step forward and I back up again, "NO! You're just going to cut the other side!" I wail.

He shakes his head no. "I need you to be able to eat," he says and I let him move closer.

"I'm not Harley," I say, spitting out more blood. It hurts so much to talk, but I can't be silent just yet.

"Why not? She's gone now, just like the rest."

"I don't want to be Harley...I don't want to be like Harley..." I say and spit again.

"Let's get that smile sewed up, shall we?" he grins and grabs my bloody hand. He's taken off his gloves.

It's then that it dawns on me and I get M.A.D. "You planned this all along, didn't you?" I ask wrathfully. "The sewing needle and thread, the antiseptic there, and you even took off your stupid gloves so you wouldn't get blood on them!" I yell.

"I took off my gloves because it's, ah, HOT," he says, but he doesn't deny planning it.

I sink down against the concrete railing. It is hot. Not too bad now, but it will be.

He threads the needle after soaking it and the thread in the peroxide. He takes the peroxide and says, "Lie down."

I do as he asks, terrified. He drips the peroxide on my shredded jaw and I scream.

"Music to my ears," he giggles and stabs me with the needle. "Stop moving so much," he chastises and I pass out.


	5. Chapter 5: Punishing Puppy

**This time it's not my scar story, it's from The Dark Knight.**

**Chapter 5: Punishing Puppy**

When I wake up, it's nighttime, and I'm back down on the bank of the stream under a tree. My jaw feels numb and I can't really open it without extreme pain. I get up to feel a heavy weight around my ankle and it is then that I have no doubt that he had planned this all along.

_He's been carrying a _chain_ in his bag? The thing has to weigh 15 pounds!_

It's a prison anklecuff, and how Joker got it, I don't know. I follow the chain to where it's anchored, which is around the tree I'm under, secured with a padlock.

_What if he loses the key?_ I think frantically. I'll have to gnaw off my own foot or something!

But dang, I am REALLY thirsty. I look to my pack, which is definitely out of my reach. I look for Joker and realize that his pack is gone.

_So he sewed my mouth up, chained me to a tree, and left?_

That doesn't make sense. He has to come back.

I sit down against the tree trunk and look around for him, listening carefully. "He'll come back," I manage to croak aloud, and stare at the water.

* * *

Watching from the bushes after hiding my pack, I wait to see her reaction. I'm a little disappointed by her lack of reaction and sureness that I'll come back. She says nothing more for a long time, patiently awaiting my arrival. She tries to reach her pack once, and tries to get to the water once. She must be pretty thirsty after swallowing some peroxide and losing so much blood.

I scratch the stubble on my chin and yawn silently. We'll run out of supplies if we wait here much longer, but I _really_ want to see what she does after a whole day of me being gone. The bugs are starting to get to me, and I do kind of want to see her reaction of my return, so I quietly stalk up behind her and the tree. Now that I'm close I can hear her crying and saying, "Why, why, why did all of this have to happen? Why did everyone have to disappear? Why am I here? I'm not a superhero like the others...even ItBat is more heroic than I am! Ow, my stitches...why did he have to hurt me? And why did he call me a harlequin? He's coming back...he wouldn't do all this and then just abandon me," she trails off, sniffling.

I step out from behind the tree, "Of course I'm coming back-I can't leave my new plaything!" I grin and rub my hands together. Her face is red and streaked from crying, and her mouth has been bleeding a little. She's still caked in blood and she looks miserable.

* * *

**Her POV**

I shrink down a little when he jumps out, startled and wondering just how much he heard. If he notices, he doesn't show it. "Can you please let me loose?" I ask softly of him, trying not to tear my stitches. The result is very slurred speech.

"Of course, Dolly," he says and produces a key, much to my relief. He undoes the chain from the tree, but leaves on my anklecuff. So this is how it's going to be; me on a leash. "That's going to rub while you're walking..." he ponders, and then sets to taking it off. At first I'm relieved, until he grabs my wrist and fastens it there. He sees my crestfallen look and soothes, "I just can't have you running off in your condition, Dolly."

He tells me to wash off my neck and chin and stuff in the creek, but, "be sure not to get any of it in your smile!" for fear it will get infected I guess. I can feel the bruises on my neck from where he was strangling me.

I decide to change my shirt too, grabbing a clean one. The pants will be OK; it's not like anyone but the Joker will see me anyways. Joker unabashedly stares while I change my shirt, clad only in a bra from the waist up, but to be honest, I couldn't care less I care so little.

* * *

Walking with the ankle cuff on my wrist on was not an easy task. The chain is heavy, and Joker has his part thrown over his shoulder. After 4 hours without any breaks, my cheek was throbbing like mad and I felt like I could pass out. I drank my water in little sips to make it last, and so I didn't irritate my stitches. Nothing was easy anymore; where had the happy times gone? I remember laughing _with_ the Joker, not being laughed _at._

And he is laughing at me; every time I ask for a break, or every time he decides to yank my chain, literally. My wrist is rubbed raw and stings, helping me to take my mind off my cheek for a little while.

We don't manage to reach another town off the interstate until around midnight. Joker forces the doors of a department store open and we go inside. I am forced to follow him to the bathroom, where he uses a urinal and I use a stall simultaneously. Not that they flush; the electricity's been out since the disappearance of mankind.

I throw my bloody shirt away and we head through the dark store with flashlights. Joker tears open a pack of batteries and we change the batteries in our flashlights and he stores a few extra in his pack. With newly charged flashlights, it becomes apparent that food rots quickly. The whole place stinks to high heaven. I grab a pack of t-shirts and store them in my bag. We go to canned food and pick out some things that are now free. Joker busts out the can-opener and opens his can then tosses it to me. I open my can, soup so I don't have to chew, and take a sip right from the can while he searches for spoons in his bag. I have to admit he is carrying most of the heavy things at least. I have to tilt my head to the side to drink it without getting it in my stitches.

"How long do the stitches have to stay in?" I ask feebly as he hands me a spoon.

"Depends on if you develop the habit of chewing them like I did."

I had to admit to myself that I _had_ caught myself chewing them as we walked. Unable to get a direct answer out of him, I inspect my wrist instead. It's angry and red and even bleeding where it's been scraped so many times by the shackle. Joker pays it no mind. I take a shop towel that I'd been dabbing at my oozing mouth with and tear it into a big enough piece that it can go around my wrist, but not so big that it won't go under the shackle. I work it under there. It burns at first, but I figure it will probably be better in the long run.

"So where are we headed, exactly?" I ask, as it seems the Joker has some kind of map in his head considering our direction.

"A place I used to know," he says mysteriously. "Hurry up, this place stinks worse than Clayface."

"Do...do you think maybe there are other people out there still? I mean, we're still here, so why not a few other people, in like China or something."

He shrugs, "Does it matter?"

I shrug and pack up. Joker yanks my chain and I say, "Stop doing that!" out of irritation at last.

"Look, puppy, if you're going to be naughty, you've got to be on the chain."

I follow him silently, wondering what the heck I did that was apparently naughty. All I remember is him trying to drown me and cutting my face up.

When we get out of the stinky store, we are back in the stinky town. The stench isn't just food, either; it's pets. I hate to think about it, and we've been letting the less vicious ones go as we pass, but the stench is overbearing. I'm too tired to go on though.

"Joker, I'm too tired to keep walking," I frown, pulling on my stitches.

He laughs at me.

"What?" I demand.

"You're like the drama masks put together!" he laughs, "Half of your face goes up and the other down!"

Today has been a long day and I'm tired and now he's making fun of me, so I just start crying because I'm surrounded by a neighborhood full of dead bunnies and hamsters, and dogs, and cats, and no telling what else. It doesn't seem to bother the Joker; all of this death and decay is a second home to him.

"We'll just walk until we get away from this smell, OK?" Joker asks gently, and his tone surprises me enough that I nod and trudge after him. I take a swig of water to wash down a pain killer. One thing we're not short on is drugs right now; I packed enough ibuprofen and naproxen sodium to hold me over for a while. I also packed enough pads to get me through my next cycle. My bag is bulging, unable to hold anything else. While we were in the drug aisle, Joker looked over the condoms while I was packing pills and when I turned around he wagged his eyebrows at me.

My mouth dropped a little too far and I grabbed my jaw in pain. I gave him a disgusted look and said, "I think I just became a lesbian." I don't know if he packed any while I was looking at pills with my flashlight or not. I don't want to find out.

One thing I suggested we get that Joker said no to was a handgun. I guess he doesn't want me to get a hold of it and shoot him. I'm pretty sure he already has at least one in his coat. One thing that he suggested that I wanted to say no to, besides the condoms, was face paint. Of all times to worry about face paint, he's worried about it now that the face of the Earth has been wiped except me and the BatFamily.

Now that I'm trudging behind him on my 'leash' I decide he was right; it'd just be heavy anyways.

We stop right outside the city limits, at a small ranch house. Joker opens the door; which means the family was home when they disappeared, and we trek inside.

There's still a rather fat cat laying on the couch, looking dehydrated and yellowed. I pour a bottle of water into his dish and he laps happily. I take the bag of cat food and tear the whole thing open and leave it on the front porch for him and any other cats that are alone now. I move the bowl out so that it can catch rainwater since it's looking kind of cloudy.

Joker follows me, totally docile, for once. He seems to approve of what I'm doing. We check the rest of the house out, not finding any more pets. He then proceeds to drag me to the bedroom and starts stripping down, throwing his clothes on the wood floor. I politely look the other way, despite him not having the decency to do so when I changed. I do notice, however, that he is most likely much stronger than me, and pretty defined. I change my pants now and he swats my butt while I'm bent over. I jump and he closes in on me, pushing me into the bedpost, with me only in my undies from the waist down.

"Hello, beautiful, you must've been someone's _squeeze_, and you ARE beautiful," he purrs. "You look nervous...is it the scars? Wanna know how I got 'um?" he nods yes for me. "I had a wife, beautiful, like you, who told me I worried too much. Who told me that I ought to smile more. Who gambled, and got in deep with the sharks. One night they carve her face. We don't have any money for surgeries. I just want to see her smile again. I just want her to know that I don't _care_ about the _scars._ So I put a razor in my mouth, and do this," he gestures to his face, "to myself. And you know what? SHE CAN'T STAND THE SIGHT OF ME!" he yells in my face. "She leaves, but now I see the funny side. Now I'm _always_ smiling."

I shove him back, tired of his lies, and he laughs, "Ooh, a little fight in you...I like that."

"Somehow I don't feel like fighting has been working out for me lately."

"Hahahaha," he laughs like it's the most absurd thing he's ever heard. "I like you."

"I'm not sure if that's good or bad."

Joker throws himself on the bed carelessly and tugs on the chain, leading me towards him. "Come on, I was just kidding around," he laughs at my look of apprehension.

After another moment of apprehension, his look of amusement disappears, replaced by that cold resolve and murderous glare, so I flop carelessly on the bed too after putting on pants. He relaxes and puts his hands behind his head. "So, Dollface, how's your wrist doing?"

"Horrible," I say bluntly as the light of the world fades out and the room gets darker.

"Well, if you-"

"I haven't done anything. You're the one who tried to drown me and sliced my jaw open," I snap, feeling the all-too familiar pull of stitches.

"I was going to say, if you promise to be good, I'll take it off, but if you run and I catch you, it goes back on."

"I'm not going to run," I sigh. Most likely true I guess. Where would I go? I don't want to be alone forever.

Joker leans over the bed and gets the key out of his jacket and undoes the chain, tossing it with a thud in the floor. My wrist stings as the cool air touches it and I peel away the shop towels that had been acting as padding. My wrist is raw, scraped, and bruised. I let it dangle off the edge of the bed so it doesn't have to touch anything, surprised at how light my arm feels now without the heavy chain. Joker gives me a peck on the cheek and then sighs and closes his eyes.

_The Joker just kissed me._

I'm too tired to deal with this right now.


	6. Chapter 6: Bel-Air

**I don't own the Bel-Air name. I'm not even old enough to. I wish I had a sea green Bel-Air though. -SevvyGirl**

**Chapter 6: Bel-Air**

When I wake up in the morning, the Joker is already up, as usual it seems.

_I hope he doesn't try to burn me alive again._

On this note, I decide to get up and make sure this isn't what he's doing. Then again, maybe I should stay in bed; anything for a moment longer without him, right?

No, better make sure the house isn't on fire.

I drag myself out of bed and use a comb on the dresser to comb out my filthy hair. I smell like something out a stagnated pond since we got filthy in the dirty creek water. The swampy smell has adopted my hair. It may seem like the weirdest thing to say, but I wish the Joker would decide on a spot for us to settle down; we could rig up a hand pump from one of the stores; they do still sell them, you know; and then after rigging that up, we could take baths and be _clean_ again. Or at least I could; I don't know if he wants a bath or not. After all, he does seem pretty content.

I open the bedroom door and see Joker messing with the stove.

_Setting the house on fire?_ I wonder. No, he appears to be actually _cooking_ something. Without electricity? I wander a little closer and realize that it's a gas stove, which explains a lot. I add that to the house we "settle down" in. Hand pumps and gas stoves; unlimited resources for us now that no one else needs them. Gas prices are at an all-time low.

I stand there staring, wondering if I'm dreaming about Joker making pancakes and the beautiful smell of them. Joker suddenly says, "You look surprised; is it the scars?"

"No, it's the pancakes," I state truthfully. "I'm used to the scars; and to be honest, they never really bothered me anyways."

"How's your face doing?" he questions, sounding concerned.

"It hurts, and it's going to scar," I say, though it's obvious.

"Ready for the other side yet?" he jokes. I think.

"No, I can't eat well now; I don't know how you did it."

"Liquid diet for a while; through a straw. Pancakes?" he asks, giving me a plate and a fork. He carries his plate and the bottle of syrup to the kitchen table. He uses way too much syrup of course. I use quite a bit as well; it's good to have something sweet for a change.

We're silent for a while while we eat and I kind of like it. It's good to just sit here with a person and not say anything. Plus he's a lot less aggressive when he's quiet. Of course, the silence also makes me nervous, because I wonder what he's thinking about.

"Are we almost there yet?" I ask.

"Yes, it should only take us another couple days to get there. Do you have plans or something?"

"No...I'm just tired of walking, and I thought once we got where we're going, we could set up a hand pump for water, and use gas appliances."

He nods. "Sounds good to me. I'm going to miss air conditioning though."

"Don't they have gas-powered AC?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Never thought about it."

"Do you have any plans?" I ask.

"Find some explosives and blow something up... nothing else to do."

I sigh. "There really isn't anything else to do since we left the BatFamily, is there?"

"We haven't done each other yet," he suggests.

I glare at him, but I can't help but smirk at his clever comeback. "There must be a reason we haven't."

"Never really thought about it?" he suggests.

"More like I don't do it with people who try to kill me and cut my face open."

"Kill you? I wouldn't kill you...what would be funny about that?" he asks dubiously. "I just like watching you react."

"I should've killed you when I had the chance," I joke.

"When did you ever have the chance?"

"I could've kept you under in the creek...I could have stole your gun and shot you back in Gotham...or I could have just left you to die out here and went with the BatFamily. You'd probably die of boredom."

"I would have followed," he yawns.

"So why didn't we both follow?"

"I have a feeling our paths will cross again someday," he says mysteriously while chewing.

"I hope so," I say, looking out across the patio into the field as if they're just on the other side. "I wonder how they're doing."

"Perfect, as always, I'm sure. Probably living comfortably somewhere. I don't know why they ever left Gotham. Batman surely could have found a way to restore power."

"We should have all stayed in Gotham; I'm sure a lot of places had generators. The hospital probably still had electricity, powering machines that no longer had patients."

"True," Joker nods. "We can always find a generator...maybe then we can have air conditioning."

I nod, then become suddenly discouraged. "What are we doing?" I ask irritably, my mood swinging like a pendulum.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"I mean, what's our purpose now? Why don't we just die?" I whine.

"If you really want to know our _purpose_, then I suppose the _right_, and _honorable_ thing to do would be to help repopulate the Earth."

"What's the point in that?" I ask. "Who cares if there are people here are not? I'm sure the BatFamily's excellent combat genes can take care of that anyways."

"Think about it though, if we had little Jokers then they would get to be the enemies of the BatFamily's descendants!" he says excitedly. "They chaos will go on forever! Especially if we have more than they do!" he gets ahead of himself.

"We're not having _any_," I state. "I don't like being abused; you don't even love me; you just want to use me and abuse me," I growl.

"Not even one?" he pouts.

"NO. No hospitals, no babies. I'm not dying just so you can have an heir. I've never wanted kids and I'm not changing my mind now. Especially not for you." I honestly can't believe we're having this conversation. Me, have the Joker's children? No. Uh-uh. Not happening.

"Maybe you'll change your mind. Years of loneliness will get to you," he shrugs and finishes his pancakes without looking at me.

I stare at him, unsure what to say. I don't have a snarky comeback, so I just let it drop. I won't change my mind.

"Why don't we just take one of these cars and quit walking the highway?" I question.

"It's all about the adventure."

"I'm tired of the adventure," I sigh.

"Well, I guess we could. I think you've had enough character building."

I look for a key peg and find one by the door. After I finish eating, I grab the keys and go see what kind of vehicle these people left behind.

_Oh, yes._

These people had classic style. I can't believe my luck. A '59 sea green Bel Air sits out in their barn.

I run back to the house to tell Joker.

"They have a '59 Bel Air!" I say excitedly.

"Really?" he says boredly. "What's a '59 Bel Air?"

I gawk at him like he just grew another arm. "It's a classic car. We're taking it. Let's go."

"Who died and made you Queen? Hahahaha, oh yeah, Harley."

"That's not funny!" I say, slamming my fist on the table.

He looks at me like I just grew a third arm to match.

"First of all, we don't know if they're dead or not! They could totally come back or something! What if we're the ones who disappeared?!" I freak out, "And next, if they ARE dead, Harley loved you! And you're already making fun of her dying! It's not funny!"

"You're not funny," he growls, standing.

"Good, I don't want to be funny if it means making fun of people who loved you."

He approaches. I don't move. "You know what else isn't funny?"

"When people cut your face and then act all concerned about how you're doing?" I guess. "Or maybe when a guy can't even tell the only person on Earth who tries to care about him the truth about how he got his scars?"

He grabs me by the collar of my shirt and leans down, "Or maybe when indignant little b****** try to be tough."

"I thought you liked the fight in me," I growl.

He narrows his eyes at me and brings his left hand to my good cheek. "I do."

"Then stop complaining and hurting me," I snap. "If we're stuck together, we've got to get along. We have to trust each other."

"I trust you...so long as you don't have a gun," he purrs. "Although I think I might like it when you're...dangerous."

"I don't know if I _can_ trust you anymore. You did set the house on fire I was sleeping in, and almost drown me, and cut my jaw in two, and anklecuff me to a tree, and then drag me here while wristcuffed, all the while yanking me around and laughing like it was hilarious when I fell down."

"Ah, but you see, I didn't set your bed on fire, or completely drown you, or cut both of your cheeks, or leave your cheek unstitched, or leave you chained to the tree, or kick you when you fell like I would have if it were anyone else, and you're not chained up now," he informs me, his hands sliding down my arms to land on my waist.

Well, when he puts it like that...still...

"Just give me one more chance, babe," he smiles sweetly.

"One more chance," I repeat and he pulls me into a hug...a smelly hug, but a hug nonetheless.

* * *

3 Hours Later...

We're sitting in the Bel-Air, making great time while dodging traffic and even getting out and pushing a vehicle out of the way so that we could continue with the Bel-Air. It's too nice a car to leave.

The radio stations are all static, but I find an old classic rock CD in the glove compartment. I'm letting Joker drive. I put in the CD and "Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top comes on.

"I love this song!" Joker and I say at the exact same time.

We look at each other and laugh. Things are back on good terms at least.

"So," he says after we stop singing along to the song, "would you say that I am a sharp-dressed man?" he asks, looking at me.

I look him over and laugh, "Not right now." His purple suit is streaked with dirt, grass stains, and even some blood (mine, maybe?) and his hair is in need of dyeing. His paint is applied very carelessly.

"Yeah, well, you're no runway model either."

"Didn't claim to be," I smile. "We're just all natural right now, right?" I laugh.

"Yeah, naturally crazy," he laughs, "or at least you are."

"Hey! If anyone's crazy, it's you. I'm just naturally insane," I say with an upturned nose.

"I prefer the term, _unique._"

"I prefer the term, _fascinating._"

"OK, Spock," he says, "but if you're Mr. Spock, then I get to be Captain Kirk."

"You are driving...although I'm pretty sure their navigator drives. Kirk just bosses people around."

"Well, that seems to be what I used to do anyways, besides the bombs and such," he says, waving a hand in the air like that's nothing. It kind of is nothing now.

"You know, you're not wanted by the law anymore...how's it feel to be free?"

"Uh, well, Dr., it's quiet..." he replies, "and the chicks seem to dig me, so all's good."

I shake my head and look out the window.

* * *

We arrive at the place that we were supposed to arrive at around 4 o'clock in the afternoon. It's deserted, of course, and we release a few dogs as we pass. Surprising that they're not dead yet. Weird that only humans disappeared off the face of the Earth too. It's like we're left behind or something...I'm pretty sure there'd be more than us, and no reason for the BatFamily to be left behind when Harley wasn't left behind. None of it makes any sense. It's better to just not think about it.

"So this is it, huh?" I ask as we pass a gas station and a small convenience store.

"Yep," he says without explanation. We continue out into the rural area, stopping to let a bunch of horses out of a pasture.

"You think maybe we should keep a few?" I ask.

"What for? We can eventually clear the roads we need, and it's not like we're short on fuel."

"Gas does get old, you know," I say. "It would be good to have some backup in the future."

"They'll probably stay fairly close anyways, I wouldn't worry about it. If we need them, we'll find a way when the time comes, right? We need some kind of challenge in our lives."

I nod. "That's true."

We pull into a driveway of a large, two-story house.

"This is the place," Joker grins and hops out. He opens the door and steps inside. I follow.

It's warm in here, so as we go through, we open the windows.

"Home sweet home...at least now it is," he grins. "Whaddya think?"

"It's awesome," I admit. I open a door that goes to a basement. "Basement," I state.

"There's an attic too."

"How do you know so much about this house?" I ask.

"It doesn't matter," he states seriously and runs upstairs to claim his room. I don't care what room he gets, honestly, but I pretend to be disappointed when he picks the big room for himself. I choose the downstairs room just because it's not upstairs with him and it has a memory foam mattress.

"So does the place run on propane like we need?" I ask.

He nods, "Yep."

"You should go check to see if the house has one of those new propane air conditioners."

He nods and heads for the basement with the flashlight. I lay on the bed after opening the windows and let the cool breeze wash over me.

When he comes back, I hear a soft whoosh and a vent at the end of the bed starts releasing pressure refrigerated air. I get off the bed and lie on the vent. "YES."

"The place has an electric AC, but luckily they have one of those small generators, so I kicked it on. Maybe we can get the fridge hooked up to it too. We could kill a horse and butcher it. Then we'd have meat."

"You know, you could probably find a cow somewhere. I don't know if I want horse meat. I don't have anything against it...it's just, wouldn't a cow be better?"

He shrugs. "I've never eaten horse, so I wouldn't know which is better. The horses are more convenient to catch."

"Well if we eliminate our local resources we'll have to keep going farther to get things or we'll have to move," I say.

"Unless we learn how to farm," he suggests seriously "We could raise cattle; there's free feed in all the stores. It would be worth the trips; unlimited gas for unlimited feed for unlimited meat."

I nod. "Maybe things will be OK after all."

**Don't forget to review! I love reviews. -SevvyGirl**


	7. Chapter 7: Finishing the Job

**In case you didn't know, the reason this story is a crossover is because the Joker and Batman I am using are from The Dark Knight. The rest of the BatFamily is from the comics. -SevvyGirl**

**Chapter 7 - Finishing the Job**

A Week Later

At least Joker trusts me not to run away anymore. Over the past week I have been helping Joker gather generators from around the city and even one supply store. We then hauled a lot of gas for the generators so that we don't have to make more trips and have time to harvest some corn from the field behind us. Luckily there has been enough rain to sustain it fairly well, but next year I'm sure we'll have the generator hooked up to pump water and we'll be able to water a garden.

"We could make whiskey," Joker suggests.

"No," I state simply.

"Why not? Afraid I'll get cited for public intoxication?" he asks, pouting.

"It's a waste of our time. We should be gathering canned fruits and planning for winter."

"Um, it's not like we're without food. There's a store in town; store in the next town, and so on and so forth. We're not going to go hungry, Queenie."

"Stop calling me that."

"Well what do I call you then?"

"Something that doesn't make it sound like I'm a spoiled chihuahua," I suggest, head cocked. "I mean, it's not like the Jokey thing was original, but it was better than Queenie."

He shrugs. "I've thought about it and I've really got nothing," he admits. "I'm losing my edge. It's getting late...I'm going to bed," he says and heads for his room.

We'd been cleaning house, getting rid of a lot of the previous owners' personal possessions, and I saw him carrying cans of purple and green paint up to his room. I can't imagine what color his room will be within the next couple of days. It is late, so I go around shutting off the generators we don't need for the night, and head to my downstairs room. I stare at the ceiling for a long time, touching my healing cheek with my tongue. Joker said it will take another couple weeks before he'll cut the stitches out. I look out my window...I could leave...and go where?

Nowhere, of course. No, I can't leave...everyone needs someone to talk to sometimes...

* * *

I wake up to Joker sitting on my chest, knife glowing red hot in hand. "Let's put a _real_ smile on that face."

I scream and try to get him off of me, but he's impossibly strong and puts the blade in my mouth, his and my eyes both wide; his from excitement; mine from terror. He sticks the blade in my mouth and-

I sit straight up and bed and scream, pulling my stitches and kicking the sheets off before realizing it was a dream. It's still dark; I look at my watch; it reads 12:43 AM.

I hear footsteps approaching and smooth my hair out. Joker barges in the dark room and shines a flashlight in my face.

"Why are you crying?"

I wipe my face. "Nightmares. Worst I've ever had I think."

"Oh, that's all," he says and walks away without a word, flashlight beam bouncing away.

I lay on my back in the bed and sigh. Joker doesn't comfort; and I didn't really want him to since the dream was his fault.

I hear footsteps coming back and he comes back in and sits on the bed across from me, handing me a glass of milk. He sits cross-legged and pulls a box of $4 girl scout cookies out from under his arm and hands me his glass of milk while he opens it. He takes his milk back and grabs a cookie. I grab one too and bite into it. Comfort food. He stares at me expectantly. "So...wanna talk 'bout it?" he asks.

I chew slowly. "You finished the job," I say quietly.

"Killed you?"

I shake my head no and point at my good cheek.

"Oh."

I nod and take a drink of milk. "Sorry I woke you up...sort of," I say, not really that sorry since it's his fault. It is kind of nice of him to bring me milk and cookies.

"I would have brought ice cream...but it seems extinct right now."

"That's OK, these Girl Scout cookies are great," I say, choking up a little bit.

"Are you going to cry again?" Joker asks.

"These Girl Scouts worked hard to sell their cookies and never got a payoff," I say, staring at a cookie.

He laughs, "You're going to cry about a bunch of dead Girl Scouts?"

I nod, sniffling. "And my family's gone...everyone's gone."

"You've got me," Joker says, closing his right hand over my left. He moves beside me and reclines with his glass of milk on his chest, hands resting there holding it. "And I've got you, right?" he asks.

I stare at him. "Yeah," I say at last. "You've got me. For now at least."

"Still thinking about leaving me?" he asks, sounding hurt.

"I'm pretty forgiving, but you better watch yourself," I smirk, picking up the flashlight and shining it around the room.

"I like you," he laughs and finishes off his milk, sitting the empty glass on the nightstand on his side. I eat one last cookie and swallow the last of the milk. It tastes kind of strange. Must be powdered. I set the glass on my own nightstand.

"So will you tell me why you wanted to come here?" I ask.

"I used to live here," he says shortly. "That's all you need to know."

I nod. "OK." I don't want to tick him off.

"So is that all the nightmare was?" he asks, yawning.

"Yeah, basically. Nearly tore my stitches out screaming about it," I sigh.

He puts an arm around me. "I'll have you know that you've got your own look going on for you, and I wouldn't want to mess that up, Dollface."

"I'm still Dollface, even after my face is all, cheshire cat-like?"

He nods. "I think you're beautiful," he informs me and kisses my stitched cheek. "The Bats all would have kept hating you for what you are. They'd want you to change; to be like them. You wouldn't have been happy with them," he states like he knows it for a fact. "When you're with me, you can be yourself. You have a sense of humor...a sense of understanding that they all lack."

"You really think so?" I ask, yawning.

"I know so," he says and I feel myself drifting away.

**Thanks for reading, and please review and tell me what you think so far!**


	8. Chapter 8: Bonding and Mending

**Sorry this chapter is so short; it didn't really fit anywhere else, and I want the next part to be its own chapter. Also, I have gotten a total of 1 review, so thank you **CanIBAnonimous **for that review. - SevvyGirl**

**Chapter 8: Bonding and Mending**

In the morning I wake up nice and warm. I never want to move again I'm so comfy. I sigh contently and then feel breath on my hair.

No way.

The other side of my mind says, way.

I'm no longer comfy. I shift a little and the Joker takes a deep breath. "Good morning, beautiful, how are you this morning?"

I try to remain calm and yawn awkwardly. I think about it a moment and reply, "Better," rather surprisingly. It felt good to have him beside me, encircling me. He's the most dangerous thing around; if he's being nice, I don't have anything to worry about.

* * *

A few weeks later…

"Hold still!" Joker growls as I sweat nervously and glance in the mirror of the bathroom sink. He's using a pair of nail scissors to snip at my stitches. He's way up in my personal space, trying to see what he's doing under the upstairs bathroom light.

He snips one and I flinch. He rolls his eyes and snips another, pulling strings out. He keeps snipping and he says, "Last one," and smiles as he cuts it.

I try a small smile, even though it feels weird, and probe the inside of my mouth with my tongue. Joker lays the scissors down and says, "My, my, my, what a beautiful smile you have," and pinches my butt, causing me to jump towards him a little, and he wraps me in his arms. "The better to kiss with," he smiles and he kisses me.

I surprise myself by kissing back.

**I would appreciate more reviews from readers, good or bad. Thanks.**


	9. Chapter 9: One Big, Happy Family

**Final Disclaimer: I do not own the BatFamily or any of its characters, or the Joker. I do own my OCs ItBat and Jane and whatever scar stories I made up along the way, not including the ones from TDK, which I don't own either, and please don't sue me because I don't own any of your stuff, KTHANKSBYE. -SevvyGirl**

**Chapter 9: One Big, Happy Family**

2 Years Later…

"Joker!" I call out the French doors in back. "Lunch!"

* * *

Meanwhile…

ItBat and I are ciphering gas out of a car. After traveling across the country, we've decided to head back to Gotham and the BatCave and make the best of it there, where we really belong. We haven't come across another soul in a long time, and ItBat has been questioning her existence a lot, and I can't say I blame her. What made her and the other girl so different that they were spared, while everyone else, Alfred, Harley, Penguin, Harvey, and countless others, are gone?

I wonder how long it took Joker to kill the other; or if he has. Are they alive? Where are they?

I hear a noise in the distance, and unsure of what it was, I go to stop ItBat, but she's already looking around. "Did you hear that?" she asks excitedly.

"Yeah, what was it?" I question.

"A voice! Someone's close!"

I look across a field and see some cattle grazing. They're still fenced in, but they have water? They look healthy, too. The fence even looks fairly new, and well kept.

And then I see him.

A man, walking along the outside of the fence.

"There!" ItBat yells at the same time I do, and I smile. "Someone's over there!" I yell to the others and we pile in the van. I pour what gas we gathered in and we haul ourselves down the highway, which has already been cleared, now that I pay attention to it.

As we make our way closer, I see generators all around a house. It being July, I'll just be Bruce Wayne; it's much too hot for a cowl and black suit. We pull up in the driveway behind a sea green Bel-Air. Who will be inside? I look back at my semi-normal looking family. They won't know that we're the BatFamily.

I get out and tell them to wait in the car.

* * *

"There's someone in the driveway!" I say excitedly and sprint for the front door, sweaty Joker in tow. We hurry outside as a man approaches us. "Bruce Wayne?" I find myself saying, shocked, then I look to the van. I see a young woman in the front seat, about my age, and very familiar.

I start laughing. "Bats? Is that you? I didn't recognize you without your cowl! ItBat and the family! Joker, they're here! They found us!"

"Joker?" Batman asks, mouth ajar and smiling. Batman is smiling.

* * *

I look at the odd couple, looking semi-normal. Joker doesn't have green hair, but brown. His eyes are brown, not black or covered by makeup. He's not wearing paint. He's not even wearing purple or green! "Joker?" I say in disbelief.

"Yeah, yeah, don't rub it in," he rolls his familiar dark eyes at me.

"It is you! You look—different," I compliment.

He licks his lips in that familiar manner and says, "It IS July, after all. The, uh, suit got a little hot, and my face kept melting. You don't look any different to me. Still an overgrown bat," he smirks. "The whole Bruce Wayne thing—I think I already knew; I'm not surprised. Who else would be able to afford all those fancy gadgets?"

The BatFamily is pouring out of the van. The little ones have all grown. Jason eyes the Joker with contempt, as usual, then blatantly asks SheJoker, "What happened to your face?"

I take another look at her and frown. "Joker," I growl, and he smiles.

"Yes, Batsy?"

"Uh, why don't we all go in? We have generators, so there's air conditioning, and electricity. Oh, and we have ice cream!" she says, and everyone runs in the house.

Once inside, I confront Joker again. "How long ago?"

"Uh…I forget…you should ask Jane."

"Jane?" I repeat, looking to her.

She replies instantly, while scooping homemade ice cream, "Over two years. The Joker got drinking and went off crazier than usual," she says, taking on a devious tone, "I tried to calm him down, but he just kept saying, 'Why so serious?' over and over again to himself, then laughing. He came at me and shook me and kept telling me 'we kill the Batman, we kill the Batman' I tried to get away, but then he said, 'hell-o beautiful, you must be Harvey's _squeeze, _and you ARE beautiful," my face blanches a bit as I remember Rachel, "and he took out a knife and said, 'I had a wife, beautiful, like you, who told me I worried too much, who told me I oughta smile more, who got in deep, with the sharks. One night, they carve her face. I just want to see her smile again. I just want her to know I don't _care_ about the _scars_, so I take a razor, and do this to myself. And you know what? She CAN'T STAND THE SIGHT OF ME. She _leaves. _Now I see the funny side. Now I'm _always_ smiling,' so I kicked him in the shin and he said, 'A little fight in you, I like that.' He looked around like he was expecting something to happen, but nothing did, so he cut me. Not long after we left you guys. Nothing to beat him up over now, but if you really want to, I'm sure he'd enjoy it. He's really missed you," she grins. "I'll never forget his words though when he cut me."

"I only cut one side," Joker starts to argue, hands in the air in a defensive manner. "So she looks like a drama mask. It wasn't so bad, right Janie?"

She looks up and white knuckles the ice cream scoop, glaring much like he used to. She takes a bowl of ice cream and pushes her way between me and him, handing me the bowl. "It doesn't matter now. We'll talk about what's changed, later."

"Everything's changed," I growl, but the ice cream does help douse my temper as Joker slinks away and gets a bowl of ice cream.

Strange that they keep so much on hand. I suspect Joker eats a lot of it though, judging by the amount that he has.

* * *

After Hours of Talking and Catching Up…

I catch Joker on his way to the kitchen and say, "What'd you think of my story?"

"I was pleasantly surprised that you managed to remember my exact words and make up that story so quickly. Just like me," he grins.

"How could I not remember? As many times as you've threatened me or just told me stories over and over," I leave that open upon seeing Batman headed down the hallway.

I catch Batman on his way to the bathroom and say, "About my face," I begin. "He's not the same as he used to be. He was abusive, and maniacal at first…but he started changing once we moved here. He became more responsible. Look at this place; he and I run it. The cattle give us meat, milk, cheese, and ice cream. Joker set all that up. We've got a life here, Bruce. And it's just us, but if you want to stay here, I'd be more than happy to have the whole family. It's hard on us both, having just each other, and sometimes he has his little withdrawals. I'm sure he'll have a few more with you guys back, but now that you've seen him without that paint, I think it would be worth your while to stay around. The house is big enough."

He stares at me. "We were on our way back to Gotham, but…"

"You could slowly start setting up one of the other houses around here, collecting generators; there are plenty about 30 miles from here; a whole warehouse. There's propane everywhere…the gas is getting old in the cars though, but it still burns. Should that run out, Joker has a few horses out in the pasture too. We could make a wagon and haul things that way…" I try to convince him to stay.

"I'll discuss it with ItBat tonight, if you don't mind us staying here."

"Of course not, that's what I'm trying to get you to do," she smiles and leaves for the living area and the others.

It getting pretty late, I ask the others to pick rooms, excluding Joker and I's. The happily run upstairs, all but Jason, who turns to Joker and says, "Sometimes I wish things hadn't happened this way. I wish that we were all still in Gotham, so that I could have the chance to do what Bruce never would; kill you," and he goes upstairs at well.

"Fine boy you've got there, Bats," Joker grins. "Knows a bad apple when he sees one," he giggles.

"Jack," I warn before he makes Bats mad.

"Jack?" Bruce repeats, smirking.

Jack the Joker glares at me.

"Wait, Jack Napier?" Bruce asks in disbelief. "Oh my God."

"What's it to ya?" Joker reverts, glaring.

"Nothing," Batman breathes and heads upstairs. "Sorry."

Joker glares at me once he's gone and says, "You would have to go and blow my whole mysterious identity, wouldn't you?"

"Sorry," I apologize. "It just kind of slipped out. Forgive me?" I lean on him and bat my eyelashes at him.

"Mmm, just this once," he warns, and smiles.

"Maybe twice?" I ask.

"What did you do now?"

"I invited them to live with us."

"Yeah, whatever," he shrugs. "At least the rooms will be full."

ItBat comes flying down the stairs and says, "Of course we'll live here forever and ever! As long as there's someone different to talk to and I get to ride a horse!" she smiles childishly, despite being my age.

We all three laugh and Batman laughs too as he comes down the stairs.

"Well, then, it's settled," Jack says decisively. "I get to assign chores!" and laughs like that's something really evil. Better than burning the house down, I guess. He only set the kitchen on fire once, and that was last year, so maybe things will be OK after all.

And they all lived happily, ever after, or something like that, with a few scuffles, bumps, and bruises along the way.

**_The End._**

**Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review and let me know if you'd be interested in zombies vs. Batman stuff! Don't forget to drop me a review! I'd love to hear your overall thoughts on the story! - SevvyGirl**


End file.
